SUPPRESSED BY JUDGEMENT & A LACK OF MOTIVATION

It's been roughly two months since I uploaded my last post which is in one world unacceptable. Have you ever had the feeling you want to do so many things, but you just can't find the time for it? Well, that's basically what I've been feeling for probably the last year. There are so many things I'd like to do and share. The two things that are holding me back most is time and, yes, myself. I'm not sure where it's coming from, because I definately do have several ideas for new projects, but I just can't get myself to it. Am I not motivated enough to do things I love to do? Because that sound quite silly to me.

I'm writing this just to say that I am actually alive. My finals are over and right now I'm just waiting for the results. And I have to admit, the waiting part is probably the worst. I'm filled with a feeling of nervosity and anxiety since I'm not even sure I did well enough on the exams. This might be another reason for my lack of motivation. Whenever I try to do something, half-way through I'll stop because I'm getting to nervous. The last few weeks I basically haven't been doing anything productive. To be honest I'm at the point now where I'm getting quite annoyed with myself.

I'm slowly getting out of cycle where 1 I would do nothing at all, 2 I would get a great idea and 3 I would put it off because I think I wouldn't have enough time to create it and get back to 1. I started getting interested again in things I haven't done in quite some time and blogging is definitely one of them.

I also came to the realization that it doesn't matter what other people think of you. I've always been quite the type of person who would stay as much on the background as possible to avoid any unwanted attention. When I started this blog I tried to keep it a secret to pretty much everyone I knew. I was really afraid to get judged by something I like to do and, in fact, I still am a little bit to this day. Not necessarily just my blog, but also me personally: I hardly ever post something on facebook, twitter, instagram and all the other social media. I realised it really doesn't matter what other people think of you. It's your life and you should live it as you would like to.

I wasn't planning on making this post this long, but I'd like to thank you if you actually read it this far. It really means a lot to me. If you ever feel suppressed by people around you for doing the things you like, don't be. You have the ability to create so many beautiful things in this world and you shouldn't be held back just because of other's opinions.

Thanks for reading and have a great day!